Musings of an Ex-Pat !!!

Thank you Britain, the Tax Office informs me that “officially” I am an “Ex-Pat” 24 hours after leaving the country of my birth, just coz I haven’t a principal residence or something. Thanks for that, good job I “tried before I bought” or I’d be feeling pretty unloved by now. Shame you don’t have such a rigid stance on those you let IN !!!!  But I’m not getting involved in a debate, nah, you just keep taxing us on our pension and rental money…………

Anyway, how does it feel to be mortgage free, and living in Foreign climes ?? Less stressful……and that’s what it’s all about Britain, STRESS. I don’t think you can really appreciate how much modern living and the “Rat Race” gets to you, until you “step off the bus”. At first, over ten years ago, I put it down to holidaying here, I mean holidays are different to real life aren't they ?? But as time went on, and years went by, I realised it was less about the “break” and more about the surroundings. Having been brought up in the middle of the New Forest, in a house that faced seven miles of open heathland, I guess I was lucky enough, growing up, to consider myself a country girl, I was a tom boy, rode ponies, worked on a farm to pay for the privilege, drove tractors ,baled hay, all at aged 12+. As I grew older and went to work,(in a “proper job” as my parents called it,as a Bank Clerk ,when all I wanted to do was work with horses..) my travels then took me to Western Canada, Quarter horses, rodeos, dirt track roads,all very Dukes of Hazzard. It took a V.S.P, (very special person) to tear me away from this, but “settle down” I did, and I have NO regrets for doing so. I guess it’s ironic that in the end it was HIS wanderlust that finds me here, typing my blog this morning.

But during this time, if the truth be told, the writing was still on the wall, I was sneaking back to the Dark Side, I mean where did the agility come from ??? the NEED to be around like minded people,to remove myself from the humdrum lifestyle, mod cons, conformity (yes I said it) and to travel around the country like a nomad, caravan in tow, seven dogs, two children? Who let me do this ?, who paid for that ?, who stayed at home earning the money to keep a roof over our heads in the meantime ?…..the unsung hero that is Mr S. !! But then Mr “Slippers by the Fireside” caught the bug himself, not THE Bug,(Stitchy Bug),but the other bug, and he found himself,upon retirement, wanting to get out the Rat Race..

It started,for him, when I gave him a break in France for his 50^th birthday, we committed to buying this cottage when it was renovated, and the rest, as they say, 12 years on, is history.

Being able, as I am now, to enjoy the country life, after 30 years of living on estates, I couldn't be happier. The serious deal breaker here will be my lovely, lovely, (and not just coz they will read this) children. A lot of focus, particularly from those that know me reasonably well, was about, how much I would miss them after being so close, and so happy throughout their rise to adulthood.Believe me when I say,if I could do it all again,I would, in a heartbeat. I unashamedly think I am the luckiest Mum in the World, they are fabulous people, two completely different individuals, but their ability to enrich my life, laugh both with me, and AT me,to smile,and enjoy a life as a Mum, that I could never,as a younger person, have ever imagined, is unquestionable.They have also allowed me to understand how my Mum felt about my brothers and I,for, losing her when I did,when the children were small,I never really "got" her tales of motherhood, although she told me countless times how she felt......but I get it now,I just wish we could share stories again with me being more enlightened,as I now feel I am.   

   

Despite any reservations they may, or do have, they proved what great children they are by backing me/us in this adventure. Will it all prove too much for me in the end as time goes by ?? I'm not to know that ! I don’t know what the future holds for any of us. No crystal ball, no forecasts, or predictions, but the freedom to find out for myself has been given to me by them, and I thank them from the bottom of my heart.

Well that was that out of my system….I try to keep my blog on my French experiences solely, but I also wanted to explain why I feel able to throw myself into life here. Needed saying, I needed to type it, get it out there…now back to Le Tardis.

As an Ex-Pat you will be glad to know that I am signing up for French lessons. Not locally with the night classes for Brits, but in Angouleme at the “immigrants” school. I have been reliably informed I will probably be the only English person there, and it will be tough, but, I have to commit to regular proper lessons if I am to become reasonably fluent. I don’t want to surround myself with other ex-Pats” as a lot of those out here do, I've had, as I've said before, enough trouble staying away from them in my own country, I certainly don’t want to actively seek them out here.

I have some French, but not enough to cover what I consider to be the most important things in life, health, ie: trips to the Doctors, Vets etc. and incidents, accidents…you know the sort of stuff. Situations where a timespan to “look things up” in a dictionary, or online, are NOT included.  

  

But I'm getting a little nervous about the prospect,of going back to school, but it's got to be done. I am such a chatterbox (for those that weren't aware) staying quiet at Agility Club is KILLING me. There a 50,000 things I want to be firing at/asking them. WTF is one of them but I think I will keep that to myself !!!!

On the subject of agility, how is that going ? Non-enthusiasts can skip down a bit….this is going to take a while. 

Stitch is being Stitch, he has a slight glitch that has arisen this year, has had an MRI on his neck and head, and will have another on his back in February. Really all the problem is tremor. He just can’t stop shaking, this doesn't seem to effect his agility, but he does have the odd moment of pain, almost as if he has a trapped nerve. He has racked up a 3k bill so far(thank god for insurance) and the specialists are none the wiser. They describe him as an enigma……that’s not quite how I describe him sometimes, but hey they are the specialists ;-)

Master Boq……now where do I start?? He is “absolutely FABULOUS dwarlings”. Granted, a bit “odd-looking”, in a drop dead handsome sort of way. Probably could sneak him into ABC’s as a hound of some description. But 100% in every way the sharpest pencil in the box. Tried to outrun a TGV (High speed train) one time, but thankfully lost, and had “losing chase drive” added to his Winter Training Plan as a result. He is such a spirited,playful,loving and worky little fella, six months old on Tuesday 12^th Nov, and is just beginning some foundation work,which means me doing lots of inward and outward circles at a walk/run. Good lord, I’m getting dizzy…on my drugs not the best,but he’s taken to it like a canard(duck) to water…… I wonder if the French SAY that!! Added to my,” must find out” list. 

He is liking his wobble work and directionals, but his mainstay and raison d'être is belting about like a mad thing,trying to take your legs out in the process. We have a back garden on a slope,in fact our whole garden is on a slope,and every time I go to the garden shed he joins me,and then when I go to make the descent back to the house he hurtles past me like a juggernaut.But oh what fun he has with his toys out there on the slopes......up down.....up down. 

I am now taking him to French agility club, as their training facilities are on the flat and therefore less hazardous for both of us. They have a fully enclosed (10ft high chain link) perimeter and a (4ft high chain link) divider. The agility field is one side of the divider and the obedience area is the other, but nobody does obedience, so this area is 99.9% free during the classes. Result !!. During the length of the sessions, normally two hours, (but as I have mentioned before, with very little actual agility being produced, 3-4 runs total in that time) Boq and I spend half the session, circling, recalling, wrapping(round a single weave pole),and doing anything/everything else he knows in the vacant obedience area, to the cacophony of raised French voices, barking dogs, and the associated FRANTIC-NESS of all things I have come to recognise as French Agility not 50 feet away the other side of the fence. He should be bombproof by the New Year !!! The other half of the lesson I let the Bug loose on the agility………. He is the biggest spokesperson for our new methods,the ones that I hope, they will see me working towards with Boq. He is just awesome. Take that….antiquated, non-positive agility world. Clicker ????? c'est quoi ??

Unable as I was,(due to the van size),to get my contacts out here yet, Richard has made a usable pro-tem contact trainer, out of an old solid dining room table and a piece of rubber matting. Not brilliant, but will do,for when I decide to take it to the next level with my 2o2o, having seen how Voodoo,(Lesleys’ boy) and Jennines’ Ruby converted their skills from simple correct positions on a wobble cushion,(or Wi-fit board in Ruby’s case),to the real thing, I'm not panicking about getting started anytime soon.  I do have a couple of jumps and a set of stick in weaves, so that should be enough when the need arises. Will try and get more stuff back here in March, after Crufts.

So reviewing this, not a particularly informative blog, will try and do better next time. Just wanted to set the scene and draw a line under Le Tardis (Holiday Home) Blog and begin life at Le Tardis, My HOME, Blog.  

Winter is nearly upon us, the woodburner has now been lit for the first time and I have painfully discovered that even the severely thinned down contents of a four bedroom detached house, less rubbish and clutter,STILL does not fit into a three bedroom cottage, with no loft. My two greniers (my 2^nd and 3^rd bedrooms) are now full of boxes, Yes folks, I need a bigger house, and a BARN but that’s another adventure to be enjoyed when my French is more fluent, and I have my feet more firmly under “la table”.

Like I said...more Frenchness,more photos NEXT blog,stay warm and dry..... Gail xx

Here I go again !

So that whole “England trip” took a whole lot longer than intended. I was due to go back for a month full of agility, and to pick up my pup, but what started out as a brief vacation turned into a long haul.  The reason for this, I am happy to say, is because our English house is now under offer. I do so hope it goes through, not only because affording the upkeep and running costs of two houses in two countries on one small pension is completely unfeasible, but because the couple who want to buy it, want to do so, as they want their young children (5 & 3) to go to Berrow Primary school.. How’s that for a whole hunk of Déjà vu ? Turn the clock back 23 years and you have little old me, when agility didn't exist ,and I didn't even have a furry one in my life, seems like I am referring to someone else completely.   

Anyway, I loved my time in England, my “Agility August” is going to be a regular trip,(and an Agility April if I can fit it in,and have my way), some great shows, and at some time in the future,a chance to see if I can “remotely” train a puppy off my own back, to hold his own in grade 3, when I visit Blighty, gulp,no pressure !. Like I said before, French agility is nothing like what I have left behind, but if I am to aspire to British Standards, I am going to have to do it all at home, test it out at the French club, and cross my fingers that I have done enough to hold my own,not go out to win, but just look like I’m NOT a complete numpty.

But this Blog is about France and not England, so I will leave the many tales of my travels and traumas, my highs, lows and my fun with the “young uns” untold. Most of you do Facebook so you can fill in the blanks.

It was with severe trepidation that I loaded up Stitch and Boq and headed for Poole to catch the ferry. I needn't have worried, the dogs travelled like old pro’s. Stitch has done it before, but it was a completely new experience for the little fella. Two hours to Poole, an hour dockside (but loaded), a four and a quarter hour sea trip, and a six hour (plus stops) road trip down.  It’s a good job I am used to travelling all over the country, I have driven back many a time from Ipswich(Dogs in Need) over the years ,knackered from a weeks’ competition, caravan on the back and two children fast asleep in the van by my side. To be honest the French trip is easier, but I don’t suppose others “looking in” would see it that way.

I was greeted with a lovely curry and a cuddle, if not with my other half, (who couldn't get anywhere near me, for the tails wagging and the tongues licking), but with Kif and Phee Wee who, from their re-action, really seemed to have given up hope of me ever returning, and had settled in, quite nicely thank you, with the hour long walks their dad was now giving them. He would be Soooooo grateful to hand that baton back, he may have lost nearly 5kg’s but his poor old  retired “Gas fitters knees” were killing him.

The pup fell off the Car Park area, on the upper tier of the garden,in the first ten minutes, but apart from that, there was the usual exploration and frenzied sniffing. Given that he was only used to flat grass, imagine the sheer joy of not one, or two, but THREE levels he could race about on, not to mention the fact that there are trees, shrubs, and flowers everywhere !!! Add to that the two rockeries, and the twin level patio area, the boy was in raptures, but it was getting dark, and it was soon going to be bedtime.

Ah, the joys of young puppies, needless to say, due to the rather weird day he had, and all the new meeting and greetings squeezed into a very short time before “lights out”, he HOWLED the place down. Here’s me trying to reason with my husband about the virtues(for me) of having a youngster in my life, and within 3 hours of meeting him, he is doing a pretty good rendition of White Fang !!!! Whoooooooooo.

Well I stuck it out, he gave up and a night’s sleep invariably followed, and we were all re-freshed in the morning…..yeah in the Movies maybe, I looked bleary eyed and hungover and my other half was just Grumpy (his nickname).

So what did Day One have back in store for me?  I had decided that I would cover a lot of Boq’s socialization separate to the other dogs. After all, I would be taking back “Dog walking” responsibilities from Richard, and to be honest the chances of a) Boq running himself ragged, and b) not actually “meeting” any other people, dogs or challenges (other than the odd rabbit) were highly likely, so solo trips were the way forward.  It was to this effect that Richard,Boq, and myself, found ourselves in Mansle High Street. Mansle, spelt Man-sel and actually pronounced MAUL (go figure) is our local Ville (Town) and boasts a couple of Supermarkets, several Cake shops, a fishing shop, whose proprietor doubles as the local photographer (only in France), plus the usual smattering of Hairdressers, clothes shops, a Hippodrome(for the trotting races) Restaurants, the Vet, Jack (yum yum girls !!), the Tourist Information Office, which in typically French style is NEVER open, and several “Tabacs” (coffee and tobacconists). 

It was at one of these Tabac’s that we sat ourselves, to watch the world go by, to take coffee, and reflect that at 11am on a Saturday morning in England on a High Street, say in Burnham-on-Sea, there would be more than the four people(all told) in sight, and one of those was serving us coffee !!! Boq settled under the table said “hi” to the Barkeep, rejoiced in seeing a couple of people come and go, and was thrilled when a gorgeous Red Setter appeared from up the road, nonchalantly sniffed his way around to us, then defiantly stuck his nose in the air when he heard his master calling from the town house up the road, from where he had obviously made his escape. I grabbed his collar and did the French equivalent of the “Walk of Shame” although I needn't have worried, I hadn't seen a car for 10 minutes. So ended Boq’s 1^st French outing.

Day two I decided to turn up the heat a tad ,and take my youngster somewhere I could guarantee a crowd, one of the many local Bric a Brac, Vide Greniers, and Brocantes running at the weekends this time of year. I chose a Brocante at Les Pins, which we have been to before, and it’s huge. I don’t usually take my guys as it’s usually too hot, and too crowded, and because basically walking around them is a bit like pulling teeth to me, but my other half loves ferreting around, and like I say, it’s a wonderful opportunity to be in the thick of it, so, as it wasn't hot, off we went. Having this puppy is like having a toddler on your arm, he constantly wants to: get on the kiddie carts, pull plastic ducks out of the “duck pond” game, get “in” the old bathtub, get "on"the plastic kiddie buggy, I needn't have worried about shopping, it was a full time job, just to keep Boq in a straight line, at one point he grabbed the edge of a shawl displayed at ground level, it was a good job I caught him in the act, I’m not sure my French would yet cover the explanation of him dragging it around and possibly ripping it up. Anyway, I was very proud, of him, and of Richard, who, kept his spending down to four paperbacks for two Euros. Off to another one this week and with that in mind I’m off to find out which villages’ junk we will be rummaging through today.

I know I am a bit behind as we are now on day 14.....but lots to tell and getting more daily, so,have patience,and watch this space, this puppy gig is a tiring business but i will get round to it. A bientôt

Busy.........doing nothing

Aah the joys of being “retired” albeit not through choice, but more because of a knackered body, drugged up mind(due to knackered body), and a husband who got there first, and wanted me to keep him company,…..silly old sap, after 32 years of putting up with me, you would have thought he’d be trying to keep me at arm’s length.

Still on the subject of dear other half (who deserves a MEDAL for this one) He understands me, he doesn't always like what he sees, but he knows what ultimately makes me happy, often at his expense. After all, a bit like the “anonymous benefactor” in Great Expectations, a great deal of my acquaintances in agility over the last 22,(or so) years, don’t even know he exists, yet he has funded all of it, lived with SEVEN collies in my heyday, and puts up with me rabbiting on about my passion at any given moment,since the start of my involvement with the sport.  

So why, in a Blog about Le Tardis, do I feel the need to extol the virtues of my husband ?.  Because, he has in effect, done it again !!. It was never my intention to have a puppy in the foreseeable future, indeed the whole idea was, that I was “giving up” on that part of my life, my body can’t stand the pace, and the whole idea was to wind down gradually, and sink me teeth into this retirement lark.

Truth of the matter is, that although my body is “problematic” shall we say, my mind just can’t let it go. I am a dog trainer first and foremost, and a “mad collie lady” too, it sort of “defines me”. I have had more and more of an urge to “re-offend” and get a collie pup, a blank canvas, and despite his reservations, which I hasten to add, he has had for every single dog that has come into our house over the years, he has agreed. I am going to get one. !!!  His name is Boq, he is Voodoo’s cousin and he will be a “regular” in this blog no doubt.

So back to my French adventures.

What’s been occurring ?? Well, I have had a visit from my brother Mark, he of the recipe guru fame. He tasted my jam, and I made him take a pot home. He planned to come for a few days, but this was somewhat scuppered by him finding out his Passport was out of date. But true to his word, he came anyway, having taken two days and umpteen Ministry hours to get a new one, and although we only had one clear day to “get it done” what a time we had !! I gave him options of where he would like to go and bless him, he choose “La Vallee des Singes” near Poiters, my favourite day out, 16 Hectares with over 400 monkeys and apes, and not a cage in sight ! We stayed from around opening time (10.30) until tea-time. Having monkey’s all around you and in the trees over your head is quite an experience, we couldn’t leave until we had spotted every variety. Sitting on a bench and having two monkeys come up to chat is even stranger.

And as for the Lemurs.................. too darn cute.

Mark also was responsible for taking us out to “La Cheval Blanc”  a very local (five minutes walk) restaurant serving Cordon Bleu food (at a price), his treat. I was feeling very spoilt at that point. It was a shame the visit was short lived,but hopefully now his Passport is up to date,he can come back whenever he wants !!

One of our unexpected treats recently was the night of the local randonnée(hike), although we didn't know that at the time. We were in the garden looking over the wall, when we heard a commotion in the small Car Park that furnishes our local well ,it was our neighbours Rose-Marie and Jacky struggling with a bundle of twenty foot bamboo poles. We popped out to assist, and found out that they were erecting a Tee-pee. Along with another neighbour, Kevin, we managed to fashion a pretty acceptable facsimile, but like I said had no idea what it was for. After we had constructed said teepee, we were invited back for an aperitif at 8pm. So, we cleaned ourselves up, and went along, after all it would be rude not to. When we arrived we found out that we were a “stage” on a 9km night walk. We represented “aperitifs” and we were the 2^nd stop on the route. The third fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh went: Entrees, Plat (Main Course) desserts, fromage and café. There were 160 people taking part in teams, and being typically French, each course was going to come with wine included. We didn't participate ,but I would have loved to have been there at the finish (if they made it!!) They had some super costumes, the Bee’s were a great bunch.(swarm)

The wildlife continues to surprise and amaze me. As our time here increases the birds in the garden are becoming increasingly happy to have us out in the garden with them when they feed. We have one fledgling sparrow that is convinced we (including the dogs) are his best friends, and he doesn't alight from the ground until you have practically stood on him. Let’s hope he doesn't have the same attitude with next doors cat.!! We have regular Spotted Woodpecker visitors but I have been scouring the trees over the last week trying to identify a bird that (to me)had a similar call to a toad croaking, colour me amazed that this bird finally showed itself, it was a Green Woodpecker, who has now taken to feeding off the ants on our lawn. I know they aren’t particularly rare but it’s another 1^st for Le Tardis.

Yesterday on our morning walk (I have to get up earlier and earlier to avoid the heat) I saw five hares in the nearby meadow. I have seen two hares fighting before, but have never seen five in one place. They were, it seems, a family, parents and three offspring, as upon closer inspection, two were keeping watch, while the three youngsters played. Again I was amazed that even with 3 dogs in tow,(I was walking with a neighbour and her dog) they refused to be interrupted by us and didn't depart until we were virtually on top of them. Joyous sight. 

Summer is now truly here, the sunflowers are blooming, and there is a wall to wall array of Brocantes, Bric a Bracs and Vide-greniers at weekends, and this is where my husband loves to ferret about, he just loves his French junk. We try and make one each week, usually on a Sunday, and set off with a limited budget to have a good nosey. Although it’s not my favourite pastime,I have to say that I have had some good bargains, there are always local produce stalls, and if I fail on the Antiques Roadshow side of it, at a least I dabble in taste testing, cheese(goats) cured sausages(of many flavours) and of course honey and jams. No wonder I’m not losing weight !! On the junk side,I did manage to pick up a couple of rather nice iron “pots” the other day. I will be planting them up with something pretty in the fullness of time.

So........ in answer to all the folk who asked me “What are you going to do with your time?”  The answer at the moment seems to be, “and what time is that ???”  It’s funny how you always adjust to new circumstances. Just standing still to watch life going by, seems so time consuming, when there is so much to see.

And on that note, I’m off to re-fill my bird bath,it's bath time 

An "old dog" learning new tricks!!

One of my agility acquaintances the other day was reflecting on the tragic loss of her Mother and it was at that point that I also reflected(with a smile) about the many times I think about my late Mother (who died in 1991) whilst I potter around my French garden.

It would have tickled her pink to see my efforts of gardening for instance. Her father and his family were all green fingered, and Mum liked nothing more than to be out in the garden managing her roses and perennials. I have always had one thing, and one thing only, in my back garden in England over the last 23 years, LAWN, and some pretty patchy, well “rearranged” lawn at that, thanks to the umpteen pups/youngsters we have had over the years, digging and playing and burying stuff,(and each other) countless times. Oh the “joy” my other half had over trying to flatten it out and fill it in when the Estate Agents came to take photographs!.

Now in France, our gardening is what one might call, a “voyage of discovery” mainly as I couldn't tell a weed from a flower, and the ground here, plus the high temperatures, can be hard on everything. I have, therefore until of late, opted for the odd shrub and annual mainstays like Marigolds,pinks, lavenders, and have filled in my borders with succulents, which can take the heat. Everything thus far has been planted on a “it has two chances” basis. We have had surprising victories and losses, but the fact that we have effectively, fought back a French jungle on each and every occasion we have returned, and yet once the debris is cleared, there they all are, trying to survive the odds, and seemingly, just waiting for me to come and give them another chance, to make it another year. But now with the intention of keeping them company year long, I can begin to actually PLAN my garden, buy flower baskets and fill them with pansies,(my favourite) and learn the flowers and shrubs names and mix colours seasonally, in the new feature border I have had dug out, to “experiment” with.(well Richard did the digging if I’m honest).

Similarly, I have discovered over the years that whatever you provide for the birds in the area, be it peanuts, sunflower seeds, fat balls, etc, there is one thing, and one thing only, guaranteed to bring birds to your garden,…….a bird bath!!!.  

Now my birdbath was, you guessed it… my Mothers!!, it’s odd, but I can still remember(and that’s a feat in itself) buying it with my brothers,(and my Dad’s financial backing, one presumes). It was for a Mother’s Day or birthday. It came from Fairweathers Garden Centre in Beaulieu village, just down the road from where we lived in Hampshire. It’s a horrid thing by modern day standards, made of concrete, and well worn, it must have seen 40+ years!. My Mother had it on her patio just outside her French windows, and she used to sit at her dining room table doing the crossword, chuckling over the various sparrows and blackbirds that called on her to have, what seemed like, water fights.   

It now stands on our top lawn and can be seen through the lounge window, I find watching it more entertaining than TV. We have had squirrels, Woodpeckers, Hoopoes, and an array of Redstarts, Serins, Buntings, plus all the usual suspects, Blackbirds, sparrows and Tits who visit it daily. I fill it up two or three times a day in the summer and the birds themselves line up in the walnut tree waiting for me to vacate, so that they can visit their very own luxury spa.

So there we are, when I say I miss my Mum, I truly do, but I can’t help but think she’s somewhere laughing her socks off, that finally I can share a couple of HER passions, and laugh at myself and therefore with her ,at my foray into gardening and enjoying the pleasures on your own doorstep. 

Never mind the gardening though, what’s going on in my kitchen ??. Now jam-making was never a childhood memory for me, cheese straws and Easter biscuits, yes (my brothers will get that joke) but I’m sure Mum wouldn't mind me saying she preferred being in the garden, than AT the cooker. But over here there is such an abundance of fruit and produce during the year,a lot of it free, and food on the shelves being very expensive (French living expenses, cheap, food extortionate) so it would be very stupid to not make use of the opportunity to save money.  

Last time it was Sloe Gin, but this time I was interested in making Jam, mainly as my sister in law has a massive cherry tree at the front of her house, and secondly because I had been given a gift of Jam pots, lids and labels that were too cute not to use. Once we received the phone call that told us the cherries were ripe, it was a simple(!) process of sending Richard up a tree to pick me a couple of bucket fulls (All the lower branches had already been picked) Once we had the all the ingredients (after a quick trip to the supermarket for conserve sugar) it was back to the cottage for the statutory e-mailed request to the “Jam Guru” that is, my brother, for a recipe, once armed with a that and the advice that you need some strawberries as Cherry jam is very difficult to set, it was off to the stove. I’d love to say that it was a faultless process,but some jiggling recipe and some tense moments, ensued, but finally “Tah dah”….. I have…………..probably enough jam for the next 12 years…. And I only eat jam in cakes, so the next day I began my my quest for the prefect Victoria Sponge, there goes my diet. !!!!  

Strange "goings on" at Le Tardis

Ok, so I am now beginning to believe in this carbon footprint stuff. Granted the weather in England has been effective S@*t  of late, and has tampered with, or utterly cancelled our favourite shows(& training) and, save to say, we have been forced to get used to being wet and cold, even if its technically half way through the year !!….We have to face it, 2012 was a washout,and 2013 isn't so far doing much better, but good old reliable “Belle France” now that’s a different story…..or WAS.

Having purchased Le Tardis in 2004,and having spent frequent, regularly timed breaks over here during the last nine years, you KNOW what you are going to get, hot, sometimes too hot,(there I said it!!)sunny Springs, leading to blisteringly hot Summers and Autumns. Virtually six months of solid heat. Or so I thought.

Imagine my horror, upon my return, discovering due to the continuous rain(gulp)recently, the garden which can be left for 6 months, and can take up to two days to clear, managed to grow twice as high/thick in three months, and is still showing signs of resistance a week later!!!  It had to be brush cut, then the whole area strimmed, and finally mown, our lawnmower and its operator are accusing me of trying to finish them off.  The forecast was rain and more rain, so imagine Lesley’s joy at reporting her Wye Valley show was enjoying glorious heat. Yeah love…..whatever !!!

I decided to take a break from watching Richard garden…(I DID help really) and go and have a chat to my French agility club acquaintances, and get some French conversational skills dusted off, plus introduce them to Kif, who will be my agility playmate for a few weeks. I should have known I had slipped into an alternative reality when I arrived, to find one of my fellow club members soaked to the skin, as she had just had to dive in to save her Bull Terrier from drowning in the swollen river !! Good start, although I did remember what “Do you have a change of clothes" was, in French........ Result !

Now to discover that once the complete membership had arrived,that training was “OFF”, due to the fact that the grass in the agility area had not been mown, or a goat had not been ushered onto it, one presumes. Taking a look at it, I can only imagine this had been a problem for more than a couple of sessions, would it be done for Wednesday’s scheduled session. Peut-être (maybe) I was told. Great, so we will all turn up then and just SEE, shall we ??Or shall we use modern contraptions like,say,mobile phones or e-mails ,to let each other know beforehand !!!!!

What I hadn’t bargained for however, was the hour we spent discussing the lack of available agility training, this however, gave me a chance to get Kif out, and introduce him to everybody, and in true Kif style, he crept around all the people, and played with all the dogs in his patented semi-autistic “I am not worthy” style of submissiveness, although watching him try to get down on his shoulders, to be lower in rank than a Chihuahua, was hysterical to the extreme. Poor-mall adjusted Kifler.

Anyway, I am glad to say, that after two nights of burning logs, the temperature control over the Poitou-Charante was finally creeping back up to normal. The forecast was getting brighter and this only meant one thing…..down tools in the garden, and head off to the river for a spot of fishing. All sounds perfectly reasonable and the first day I couldn’t keep the little blighters off my line, much to Richard’s disgust, as he was trying to christen a new rod. On the second day, it was more of the same, although Richard was beginning to pull even in the fishy stakes.

Day three, now this is where you can all have a laugh at my expense. We have several preferred spots to fish but not all of them are accessible at all times of the year, due to crops etc. So, I decided to go down to the river via “Pooh corner” a tributary stream off the main river, that doesn’t fish well when the river is moving fast, which it was at the time, so, just past there is an adjoining lane going down to the Charante, which we have taken many times. “I’ll go that way” I said, “no dear, due to the recent rain it might be muddy”replied my other half. ……Taking the lane irrespective of his comment, and at the VERY moment I announced “Anyway this Doblo is REALLY good in mud it never gets stuck”……. It DID just that, GOT STUCK !!!

Long story short, we spent 2 hours trying to, “think outside the box” jacked the spinning wheel up (twice) and placed rocks,vet bed etc etc underneath it. We moved countless bags of hardcore (broken up French roof tiles) from a small stash just up the road and actually moved the car four feet forward, but nevertheless it was still stuck. It was at that point I admitted defeat (Bear Grylls would’ve freed it no doubt) and phoned my brother in law, oh the shame, and embarrassment………. I’m not going to live that one down in a hurry…. But we STILL went fishing and caught loads.

Spring has sprung

Well here I am at the end of my 1^st French winter. How have I found it ? Marvellous, bloody marvellous, and confusing too, as , for some reason it appears to me that I arrived what seems like yesterday…..so why am I heading off so soon?.

It’s only when I look around and see, the freezer we bought to stock up in, the fence “Stitch proofing” the garden, the new kitchen unit to take the extra vittles, and the “touched up” appearance of the ruined faux chimney, that I realize I have been here over two months at all. To say it has flown by would be an understatement.  So much so, that it almost feels “unreal” Très bizarre as the locals like to say.

So what were the highlights of my last couple of weeks ?

Coming in as a firm favourite is the annual “flight of the Cranes” that tells folk in the Poitou Charante that spring is indeed on the way. These huge, noisy flocks pass through this area twice a year, flying south in the autumn and north to their breeding grounds at Springtime. They chose four consecutive days at approximately the same time each day, to cross our back garden, forming huge “V”’s of literally hundreds of birds,over periods of up to an hour and a half. A true spectacle of nature.  I looked up on their grus grus(French for crane) site and on the 19^th & 20^th February between 15,000 and 20,000 flew through my region EACH day on their way to Hesse in Germany. No picture can ever capture that moment,well not unless you are Sir David Attenborough, but here are a couple of shots taken with a pathetically poor camera.

Next, thanks to the gradual shutting down of hunting my rambles with the dogs can cover new ground, without risk of being “mistaken” for game !! Something I did not know is how well organised and exact hunting IS here. Hunting is a community event and to break a rule is social suicide. There are firm restrictions as to what you can shoot, and when. The deer, bless their little Bambi hearts, aren’t safe until the 28^th February but pigeons  pheasants and partridges have been popping their heads up without risk of having them shot off, since the end of January. Farmers either agree to "La Chasse" over their lands, or they have Chasse Garde signs up…NO hunting. As I went to Montignac for agility the other day, I was surprised to see in a Chasse Garde field, two gorgeous sleek,shiny Chasse dogs, both Hamilton Stovares, which are highly popular as pack dogs locally. The Chasse meets about two miles down the road in the woods, these had obviously gone off on their own, I just had visions of the local huntsman having to round up the strays in the evening. I hope they were happily reunited with their packmates, who hopefully didn't, “find” anything that day either.

Anyway it was on one of these “new” walks I came upon another huge surprise. I mean, imagine you are just following your nose,on what seems like a nice jaunt, round the edge of a mature wood and out across the unfenced fields of rural France, and suddenly you see in the distance rocks…..big rocks, on an otherwise flat horizon. Colour me curious but off I trundled to, a mini version of Stonehenge, not a worshipping stone ring but a burial site. Two Dolmen. But no fencing, no roads, no anything, just a plaque and a polite notice to say they were religious sites and could you please not clamber about on them.    Neolithic 5000-4000 BC !! not the sort of thing you expect to stumble on,but I expect many more of these discoveries in years to come.

One of my real regrets is to be abandoning my birds. I will be begging my sister in law to be coming in to feed them for me in the coming weeks. Their antics have been more entertaining than TV, and I have got to know many of them individually by sight, and learnt their characters, despite many of them being technically identical. All the usual suspects. Great tits, blue tits, sparrows and robins, that have of late, begun to remind me a lot of the birds in “Rhubarb and Custard”, mainly as they have gained enough weight to look like tennis balls. They line up in the mornings, waiting for a new supply of sunflower seeds, and get quite stroppy if I feed the woofs first. This morning there was a light dusting of snow, and I only ventured out at 7.30 am…. I half expected to be pelted with bird poop. They were not amused, and had formed like leaves in the walnut tree branches, tweeting their avian fury at me for keeping them waiting. Also it’s taken 10 weeks since the 1^st sighting of our Hawfinch pair to get them to actually FEED, rather than just to stop off for a drink in the bird bath, and what are we doing ?? Buggering off.  Mrs Hawfinch is on her umpteenth visit as I write this,her husband,who comes over as a Bob Hoskins Cockney wide boy, is huge and really should not be messed with, as the other birds have found out, and the Woodpecker(Greater Spotted) has just left our peanut feeder. What now ?? Back to the bloody seagulls I guess.

Then there are the dogs, Phee high on life, yet also clinging onto it, Kif who lives for the countryside and his walks, the pace and volume of life is kinder to him here it seems, and The Bug, well he has a new love in his life…..whose name is Pimpernel. Pimpernel is Stitch’s pet mouse, who lives outside our back door in the flower border. He is called Pimpernel as “he seeks him here,he seeks him there,that Stitchy seeks him everywhere, is he in heaven ?,is he in hell?,that damned elusive Pimpernel”  No Bug,he’s under the calor gas cylinder dude !!!!!!

And don't even get me started on "the spoiler" Richard.....regard if you will his "lunch-plate,......and he says they are MY dogs !!!! Those mini sarnies are lined up for you know who.

Luka - Stitch's French Bulldog Buddy

I guess in the last few weeks, I too, have just become a creature of habit , and the habits I have formed, and have got myself involved with, suit me. I will miss my new friends at Vallee du Salles, they tolerate my poor French, and my loco terrier, I will miss shopping at odd times, and suiting myself when I do almost anything you care to mention. I will even miss the looks of exasperation, as my poor command of verbs and tenses make something that sounded in my head like it made sense, perplex the heck out of my French neighbours. I will miss the sheer quirkiness of french life, sights sounds and tastes... yes I WILL miss it all .  

Odd items in Phamacy windows !!

Eclairs as they should be - filled to the MAX

I am however ALSO looking forward to catching up with our children, and seeing old friends and new puppies(especially THAT),back in England. I’m beyond excited to see Voodoo’s progress and dear long suffering Hex’s ginger head in my hands again. 

Is life back in the fast lane really for me these days ?? Well that remains to be seen. See you all soon x 

 

Shit happens (even in France)

One of the things that I have had said to me repeatedly since we bought the cottage in France, (although interestingly enough NOT by my children)and more so since we have decided to try moving here permanently is, : You have to be careful with your judgement….,"it’s not like living there is it ?? it’s a holiday !!!”  Well take it from me the last two visits have proved to me beyond doubt that the honeymoon is over, and “living here” is exactly what we are doing. How do I know this ? because shit happens, and it’s no less soul destroying despite the climate,the wildlife,the relaxation and the hopes and dreams of a happy retirement.

Does leading a dream life stop your pain, or allow you to reduce your medication for it?,…no, do new challenges and experiences fall at your feet and cause you no stress…,no, do the endless walks in spectacular countryside spare you from the tears you cry, knowing the dogs you swore you would share it with, never made that final trip, or does discovering you love gardening, and want to tell that to the “green fingered” parent you lost long before this experience in France started, who YOU called bonkers for spending hours and hours on her hands and knees weeding, make you happy, …No…..because life isn’t a holiday, and no matter where you lay your hat, trouble and strife will eventually follow. But that’s life isn’t it,imperfect and unpredictable, but you have to make the most of it. And making “the most of it” will be my focus from now on whatever is thrown my way.

For example:

Take my beautiful woodburner, installed at fair expense and complimented by a faux chimney that my other half and I had a gas laugh riot “creating” behind it. What happens this visit ??? Well I will give you the before and after photo so you can see for yourself.  Thick tar gunk running down our walls after the first full week of usage. Was it the chimney ??? Replaced/rejigged…No…..rainwater? no, condensation ??maybe….would an airbrick fix it….no… would adding Vermiculite do the trick ??…. Finally Yes after a month of staining my masterpiece beyond belief !!! It’s  bleached now and doesn't look that bad. But for me it’s ruined…. And always will be.

A near miss: Finding out that due to a cock up with a direct debit I have been driving an uninsured car since December and was blissfully(although you can’t use that expression in this case) unaware of doing so, on the slippery single track roads I have been sharing with the lorries modifying the TGV(railway)locally,and the slightly loopy impatient French motorists who aren't used to sharing their space with other motorists, when two cars on the same road at the same time represents total gridlock !!!

Wildlife: Watching during the course of a day(My birthday,) a goldfinch who had become so tame and who fed daily on our kitchen window sill, puff out his or her feathers and spend a last day not leaving our garden,only to finally perch on our window sill for once last moment at dusk before flying off, to never reappear. Illness,old age,victim of a close encounter with cat or bird of prey ?. I will never know but it broke my heart.

Agility: A lovely bunch of people, welcoming and jovial. Do they use modern methods? No. Are their relationships with their dogs a partnership or a dictatorship ?? Well I think you know the answer. They aren't mean to their dogs but they don’t lure,shape and reward exactly like we do.There is an element of positive reinforcement in that they will let them work to a toy, or throw a toy,but on the whole although not overtly harsh,they think the dogs should do X,Y or Z because they say so, and they are pretty immovable on that subject. In the long term will I be able to turn up week after week and watch them struggle(which they think they aren't), persuading a dog to jump a jump by insisting that it does so, rather than dropping the pole to the floor and praise and rewarding it’s efforts, before progressing gradually ?? well that remains to be seen, save to say I am already looking at properties with larger terrain to offer people the opportunity to train on a 1-2-1 basis should they wish to so. There is no better incentive to achieve better fluency than to have a goal such as taking the exam to train French agility (You have to have a  French certificate to have permission to train at ALL) to improve their relationships with their dogs.

So to summarize am I under any illusion that this is all “very real” ??  Yet strangely does it dampen my enthuasism.?  My other half is always going on about this challenge to him being, “Lifes last big adventure”  and in itself are adventures always smooth,trouble free, and without risk? Of course not.  Being outside your comfort zone after the best part of thirty years of happy family life is scary, especially when in your opinion you would do it all over again in a heartbeat.  A very wise woman(My Mum) once told me “life is about change” and I never really understood that one as a child !! Does a change mean you were unhappy or discontent with your life as it was.? In my case certainly not, I love my life just as it is. I am proud of my children ?, immeasurably.  I totally applaud the changes they have made to their lives in way of career and love their choices of personal relationships. But I guess I now am facing the fact that their adventures are now “theirs” and only shared with me secondhand whether or not I was 10 minutes down the road.

So here I am…..having an adventure of my own. Will it all be endless, sunshine, lollipops and rainbows ? Will there be days when I want to be “beamed up Scotty” and for it to be back as it all was ?  Hell yes. But then I have those days in UK. We all do.

Like I said “That’s life”   and I am not sticking my head in the sand folks. Merde happens

P.S. Normal service to be resumed on the next post, I promise xx I just felt it had to be said.